i dunno hu to believe..

sorry to ... .. think its time to... ..
sorry to yy..
sorry to hm..

today was sat.. a sat without co, i felt restless.. woke up at 7.30 then went back to sleep, as realised no need to wake up so early.. woke up at 3pm instead..
anyway.. think its time to buckle up le.. rmb saying tis b4 valentines.. still felt empty.. e feeling felt was like a dream, like a flash.. i don wan to believe, i wan to live in my dream, bt i cant chose.. slept till headache..
was feeling happy those days cos i decided to drop physics.. i really don wan to study physics.. i dunno if ill regret.. i hope not.. i regretted even till now, for giving up two of those i wanted to commit to.. anyway, started to feel like studying chem.. cos i don hav physics now, was motivated to study chem.. i hav 5 mths left.. i cant afford to start learning physics from now, i don hav e time.. i wan to say im not supposed to avoid, bt e reality was hard.. i was thinking if i can do well for chem, theres no chance im going to regret for giving up physics.. hai..
was overjoyed over mon.. felled so hard ytd.. how long more do i still hav to rise n fall with little things done by u.. jus a glance n a smile is wat i longed for.. how sad.. i don wan to... ..
y did u say sth like that..? is it supposed to b a joke..? did u mean it..? y, do u hav to say sth like that.. e deer died, happy?.. i wan to believe, bt im not supposed to.. y is tis so.. unfair.. can u stop saying things like that if it is meant to b a joke.. i don wan to take it anymore..
wats going to happen next..?

a lot of things to say..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..
sorry to hm..

its going to b a long entry.. lots of things happened n ended.. so here it goes..

12th april 2005, tuesday..
had co everyday since tis day..
today was dazu.. last wk b4 syf.. sad to say cant c any reason to get a gold..

13th april 2005, wednesday..
today was extra practice for cello..

14th april 2005, thursday..
extra dazu b4 syf..
n shit.. think past too many days that i cant really rmb wats memorable..

15th april 2005, friday..
a normal fri.. went to co.. it was e last xiaozu i had at cchmsco.. i felt sad.. anyway dunno wat can i say.. taught sec 1 juniors today n e last time im seeing them officially in co.. bt i think ill b going back quite often after that.. cos i cant bear to leave..

n today at 6 in e evening.. my dream was true.. he didnt wait for me.. i wanted to go back in june.. i wan to greet him e last time..
still could rmb e last i we talked on e phone.. y wait for things to end n ppl to leave then want to treasure..?

16th april 2005, saturday..
today went to holy innocent pri for an exchange programme.. n today is e last sat that i hav to go to sch..
cos of tis, i wanted to b early, bt in e end woke up at 8.05 in e morning.. i felt sorry..
it was not a too bad perf.. tk solo.. n ms tay said cello has improved.. hehe..
used their stage to practice xingkong..
after that extra practice for cello again.. for abt an hr or two.. n i found out that count beats using legs was easier than hand.. haha..
n btw.. today played bball in sch with co boys.. including jh, fredrick, st, tk,ck.. it was fun for me, though in e end we didnt win.. lost to jh, fredrick n ck.. which i think was definitely cos i haven winned jh once.. n all of them played pretty well..

now my hands r tired.. need time to refresh my memory into more details.. so will continue blogging on e same post later.. sorry to co..

ten more days to co syf..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..
sorry to hm..

long time nv update oready.. shall talk abt sph 1st..
last sat went sph.. n stayed till 9 plus then went home.. was editing on e zigengdi.. finally finished today.. n from 2000 over words to less than 1200 words was a great achievement.. haha.. heartfelt gratitude towards all tianying ppl hu came down that day..n ya.. happy belated birthday to yuru.. n i felt fortunate to b with e enthu ppl of tianying..
n ya.. was coughing badly these few days.. im sorry to everyone sitting at my area.. for disturbing ur during lessons.. really sorry.. these ppl includes.. hm, henry, yl, yy, xl, wilbur, n mayb derek n ws.. ya.. truly sorry for my irritating coughing n sniffing.. n thanks to xl.. :)
last sat was co.. was thinking not to b late for tis last few practices, bt late again for 10 min.. haha.. going to b early for tis last sat practice.. ill definitely going to miss co i guess.. n is not e ppl is e co.. ppl mayb a few bah.. including those seniors hu graduated few batches back.. ya made me wanting to come co.. haha.. i guess is e feeling bah.. i dunno how i going to live after losing one of my commitment.. after 21st april.. its really time to change my focus to studies.. till today i could still rmb e day when we had syf in 2003.. 8th july.. e day we retrieve e gold award.. sincerely hoped that we could get it tis yr.. bt gold with honour, think no chance le.. with tis slacking attitude of tis younger batch.. hai.. thats really how i felt.. so jus praying for a gold.. n going to bring back cello to practice.. my last chance to use it.. when will i get my own..
for i hav to say.. i didnt regret joining co.. n i think jh n fredrick did a gd job tis yr.. plus a few comm members..
e rest of felts ill leave till 21st april.. e day when ill step down.. regardless of how much i can t bear to leave..
how sad.. e last note of molihua at sch, will b my last note played in cchmsco.. then thats e end of my life in cchmsco.. i hav to say that there r times i really hate some ppl n disagree on some of e rules implemented which made me wanting to quit.. bt on e whole, i don regret joining..
was thinking wat i had went thru in cchmsco in e past few yrs.. shall reflect on that later..

btw.. watched naked weapons ytd.. nothing much abt e content except that its quite cruel.. bt it made me reflect on a lot of things..
as i was fortunate to live in wat i am now.. i felt content physically to wat was given to me.. gratitude esp. expressed to those hu brought me happiness.. including my mum n dad.. thanks lots..
i think i must change e habit of blogging not blogging for a long time, then once started i cant end.. haha.. nitez n sweet dreams.. to everyone i care for..

pray for me..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..
sorry to hm.. thanks..

were at toa payoh interchange ytd.. was hanging ard then started interviewing ppl.. it was fun lo.. n i met one jap guy studying in chs.. haha.. hes so ... .. omg.. though hes not tall..
ytd went csc at buona vista to take hsk.. was so nervous at e time of oral.. only tem min.. n its all abt geog.. i basically puked out everything memorised from geog txbk n jus translate into chinese.. n they only giv 30 min for compo of 400 to 600 words.. i felt so tensed up when e room was echoing e sound of pen knocking against e table when everyone started writing.. anyway i broke my own new record of finishing e alomost 500 word one in 23 min.. haha.. great achievement for me.. n its an argumentative one..
anyway.. i felt sad for not able to find e answer for one compre question.. they v pathetic lo.. give 15 min for 15 compre question.. i spent for at least 3 min on that question bt cant find e answer.. =(
now v afraid of not being able to get e highest level for that.. need one or two mths bah.. jus pray.. cos i don wan to waste 82 dollars..
n ya.. fri went to taiwanese gathering again.. was feeling bad tis time.. so think that it wasnt fun tis time.. n that stupid fish n co staff.. it took them almost one hr to serve my drink.. omg.. no need to mention e food.. i only got my drink when everyone finished their food n had their plates cleared, some of them even left while i still sat there waiting for my fish n chip.. too much le bah.. lousy service.. still dare to charge me service charge.. made me so humiliated.. idiotic.. hai..
anyway.. think going to call him someday.. hehe..