wat is e feeling of liking someone..?

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..

ytd was interclass soccer.. i wanted to watch bt i cant.. cos got co.. so sad.. bt i feel that im becoming more n more towards co now.. 4 yrs of experience made me wanting to join co in jc, well if i really get into tj.. although i oso wan to join bball lah.. cos i jus like bball so much.. anyway, i liked e way co performs on stage, n liked e feeling of being on stage with co.. is co not all co ppl.. cos some co ppl jus sucks, jus cant stand some of them.. bt oso got gd n responsible one like junhong, he v cute, fredrick, n talented guy like tingkai, my dearest junior huiling, shiyun, stephanie n of cos a lot more lah.. anyway, syf is jus one day b4 cdc performance.. hope we get gold again tis yr.. pls..
n today was talentime audition.. think e chance for me getting into e final is like.. hai.. cos like 50 over soloist tis yr.. so sad.. no one wan to sing duet with me.. hai.. last yr le.. jus hope that i can go into jc.. most preferably tj..
on e bus joy told me if u hav a bf then ull keep on thinking n worrying whether he will change his heart not.. if not that means u don like him enough.. is that true..? that means ive not been liking him enough..? i don think so bah.. it depends hu that ure liking rite.. cos according my memory, i don remember encountering such feeling that time.. not bcos i didnt like enough, its bcos hes e rite one.. im e one hus at fault.. shouldnt hav hurt him that much.. cos hes e one worrying that ill don wan him.. does that mean hes true to me.. definitely rite.. bt too late now.. i don qualify to say these things long time ago.. mayb e possibility didnt remain since e time of my mistake.. im sorry n i regrets.. even till now..
how long can e feeling of admiring somebody remains..?
how can he change his mind so fast.. or did everything jus meant to b a joke from e v beginning..? i dunno.. or did i do anything wrong..
one day ill jus tell jh.. ur joke is simply too big.. stop making tis kind of assumptions of ur own..
sometimes i really wonder..

empty..

today was a bit abnormal.. not my usual self.. 1st thing morning i woke up at 7.. then reached sch at ard 8.. n for e rest of e day nothing went in n nothing came out.. is jus empty.. not enough eaten, not enough rest, sleep, not enough reading, studying.. a lot.. was like arrrgh.. dunno wat to do.. feeling sick.. i don wan to continue like tis.. can someone jus pull me along..
anyway.. ytd was co perf at expo.. alrite e food plus our perf sucks like hell.. e venue oso a bit.. ya n we took photo with e president.. haha.. then was damn tired.. somemore wearing high heel was like so torturing.. only for ytd dunno y..
sat went co in e morning, late again bt jh still didnt say anything.. haha thanks hor.. after that went to c instrument with jh n fredrick.. ate lunch with e conductor.. actually quite fun la e whole afternoon.. bt noe them too late.. haha.. actually jh quite cute..
after that went to e taiwanese student gathering.. saw a lot shuai guys n mei nu.. omg they r really handsome n gorgeous lo.. a few eyes really beautiful manz..n i was so stupid that i forgot to ask for their nos.. sad eh.. we ate steam boat at paradize centre.. then left a few only we went play pool.. e part when we were in e restaurant was fun lah.. e time when they all came to introduce themselves.. got a few guys v cute as in their actions n expressions la.. like v shy like that.. got a guy called aaron.. his eyes v big n hes v gentleman.. a guy hu is half hong kong half taiwan v v cute in his actions la.. then a guy v cute in his expressions.. got a lot more la.. cant finish liao.. haha.. so long nv went out with so many taiwanese.. felt so happy.. yuppps..

sentimental yr..

sorry to ... .. hope i didnt hurt u that much last time.. n get over with it soon..
sorry to yy..

today went kallang kfc again with hm.. then we chatted e whole afternoon.. there seemed to b never ending topics for us.. haha.. dunno where did it came from.. anyway talked abt a lot of things.. oso got write a bit of hw la.. cos tis wk test- free.. dunno left how much time that we can talk.. graduating soon.. was thinking whether we could still keep in touch after that..
after that on bus saw one ns guy.. haha.. think he quite cute.. cos his clothes seemed to b a bit big for him.. n he oso wore e army cap.. hes quite tall oso.. ok full stop..
ytd was co.. got hl into syf bt really felt v sorry for yj.. hai.. hope hes ok..
n sun going to hav performance at expo.. after that i think performed at almost all e stages oready leh.. haha.. like esplanade, victoria concert hall, national indoor stadium, suntec convention hall n of cos in sch..
sat going to one taiwanese gathering.. quite looking forward to that oso..
i missed e time we were training for story telling comp last yr.. it was so memorable.. then got to noe mc n eve.. got closer to hl n hm oso.. although e blind judges didnt giv us at least 3rd, i still remembers e times that we had together.. b it gd or bad.. i missed them so much.. n i could remember on e finals on 14th august 2004, at e part where we r supposed to snatch e pillow from each other, hm fell down leh.. jus in front of me (im so sorry hm..) .. haha.. now i recall i was still laughing bt at that time i didnt laugh at all loh.. didnt even had a grin.. none of us had a grin on our face n e audience thought that its inside e script that she should fall down.. haha.. we so pro manx.. (hm really sorry hor..)
those days oso thought a lot of other things that happened in e past.. mayb its more sentimental when in sec 4 bah.. recalled n reflected a lot.. esp e gd times we hav in my sec sch life.. i always thought that its like only e day b4 i went into cchms n now im graduating oready.. 4 yrs really passed v fast.. nothing gold can stay (could still remember mr lees e lit lesson in sec 2.. hes such a gd n humorous teacher that my results improved from c6 to b3..) ..
todays conclusion.. i thought ive grabbed sth after many yr of sec sch life, then i finally came to realize that im left with an empty heart.. bt im gratified to hav true frenz along.. thanks to ppl like nm hl dj hm van yy henry.. oops.. cant finish liao.. haha.. nx time then finish bah.. nitez..

could that b possible..?

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..

ytd was being bangsehed again.. jus no one told me that there was no dazu that morning.. which was said during cny rehearsal.. stupid cny.. stupid co.. tmd..
ytd went parkway.. bought quite a lot stuff for valentines.. think tmr going to b alone again.. anyway tmr lessons till 4.. so not too bad.. anyway, its been many yrs that im alone.. think tmr a lot hu noes me got to b v fortunate.. haha..
n went to airport today.. to c my dad off..
though got 4 days holiday bt didnt do much things cos my dad is here.. if i go on like this ill definitely flunk o level.. got to find some way out.. mayb after tmr.. better buckle up.. ganbade..
they broke up today.. quite sad.. again he thinks itll b better for her, she ll b happier.. is that so.. i guess hes wrong.. at least i wasnt.. anyway pity for him..
btw.. shes further away from me now.. at least lighter weight in my heart now.. bt not i created tis ok.. don think im anyway responsible for that.. not my fault.. i oso don wan that to happen.. quite sad for her..
ppl walks in n out of ya life.. guess shes creating distances btw us.. cos she likes to bring me bad memories..

learn how to appreciate..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..

ytd was cny celebration..
arent performance ic means performance in charge n was supposed to take over all e things needed for e performance as well as performers.. bt sad to say a lot doesnt noes how to appreciate.. i only did wat e teacher told me to do.. like in charge of e backstage, ava, things like that was all wat was told to me.. well, i pity those hu only had e ability to talk n complain rather than produce sth useful.. i pity them for they will not b leading as they don even noe how to follow n appreciate.. sad isnt it..
bt i did made one mistake ytd.. i forgot to usher e principal back to his seat as i was on e other side of e stage.. hai.. shouldnt have forgotten that..
got to thank yy oso.. felt fortunate to hav a fren like him..
n thanks to fredrick.. (thinks he conducts v well for co..)
oso wan to express my heartfelt gratitude to all performing cca leaders hu help me during e rehearsal.. including junhong, fredrick n rit from co, karyn n yaozong from band, lizhen, jiamin n jiawen from 1hm, cdc, fangyu from wushu,n prcs.. oso to stage managers, hm n derek, ava ppl n those backstage crews hu had really done their job.. last bt not least to jiangbin n those hu helped to make tis event possible..
after e whole thing, me, hm, van, jy, n hl went back to lao yu sheng.. haha.. my 1st time laoing that.. quite fun oso..
then we went kfc n spent like 2 h there.. met ws n other guys like jt.. she gav us angbaos with sweets inside.. thanks hor.. at 1st dickson wanted to giv us tissue.. haha..
after that we planned to go home bt sth happened so we ended up chatting on e overhead bridge near kallang there.. haha.. my 1st experience chatting on e overhead bridge.. n i was wearing e jeans with a lot wear n tear which made me looked like one of e begger.. haha.. spent abt 3 h there.. although a bit stupid bt unforgettable experience siax..
today thanks to hm, van n fredrick.. haha..

treasure it when u have it..

today learnt sth new.. juvenile delinquent.. thats wat can b used to describe that bastardised criminal.. that pea brained thing that stole my private property.. moron..X(.. gonna curse that delinquent everyday until it became crippled..
today nothing much.. went kbox with my family.. then went giant.. saw e guy that i saw last time.. think he quite poor lah.. cos his looks not bad bt he selling miscellaneous goods inside giant.. think he can get better jobs bt ended up like that.. anyway actually not my business.. bt saw him quite a lot of times le.. quite pity..
today conclusion.. must study hard when ure given e opportunity.. or else when theres no help given it will b difficult.. so treasure it when u have it n don regret..:)

happy chinese new yr..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..

today my dad is here.. brought a lot food that is not sold here.. hooray.. ^o^.. n hes going to spent his 8 days here.. how fantastic..
thurs n fri was cny rehearsal.. e 1st rehearsal was not bad lah.. bt e bad part started from when e rehearsal ends.. some stupid idiotic moron with filthy hand n especially e heart, despicably stole my beloved wallet.. sobx.. theres my most treasured objects leh.. like e hearts n e blessing thing hm gave me during story telling com last yr.. so sad.. n a lot my movie tics.. wuwa.. oso e letter we wrote lo.. time will nv return which means ive lost all of them completely.. e wallet is wat my mum bought for me de lo.. that son of e b****.. damn it.. hope that wretched guy jus get its retribution..
anyway.. without that incident, e 1st rehearsal totally rox.. cos nv had e chance to hold a walky talky.. n was given one on that day.. v fun using that.. haha.. looking v seh with that.. especially being e organiser, though its v tiring.. all went smoothly for e 1st rehearsal.. bt e 2nd rehearsal sucks like hell.. n wushu e most sucky cca in cchms.. so rude n self-centered.. its been a long time since ive met such arrogant ppl.. so that day was in quite a mess.. bt at least i felt seh.. being e organiser in front of co ppl.. haha..
tis wk got a series of 4 tests.. thurs got chem hcl n amaths.. fortunately in btw got 1 or 2 periods to study.. fri got amaths again.. binomial theorem.. actually was a bit easy de bt didnt manage to study finish.. so sad..
today was co practice in audi.. don actually noe wat that conductor was conducting everytime.. anyway a lot oso don actually noe half e time..
he oso started talking to me oready le.. congrats.. tis time must treasure hor..
ya btw.. nowadays damn pissed with her.. shes not honest enough even towards her frenz.. which is wat i hate.. she should b more sincere in e other way like don care abt face so much when we all noe hus fault is that.. i think i don agree with her attitude towards cny deco n rehearsal.. jus can agree with her that wat she did was correct.. ya.. bt anyway, however i don disagree with her actions or behaviour, ill still regard her as my fren lah, jus that i still won stand in e same line with her n do things which i think is not right.. cos we r not a gang n therefore no need to cover up for her..
n ytd oso went eat kfc with hm ytd after e rehearsal.. though ive talked to her using a rude tone earlier on as i was pissed by e wushu ppl.. thank god she noes..
oso got ot b sorry to those ive offended at e same time after e rehearsal.. ppl like hl, xl, joy, yl, yl, yt, ws.. which is all that ive cared.. n thanks to wilber, derek, bh, yy, yl, thank ur so much..
todays conclusion.. wushu ppl sucks.. being an organiser was so seh n e cheng jiu gan was so great.. haha..