stucked. relying.

erm today is 23rd. farewell ended on 13th. wat hav i been doing? wat hav u been doing?!
after all, not supposed to b in holiday mood yet. is it tt difficult to hand in jus 1500? can u stop dreaming?!
hai.
so enjoying in e fools paradise.

one day ure stuck here, ull b stuck forever! move on my dear..
of cos i noe~

ya ya ya u think u noe everything?!

sleeping time, 6am to 3 pm, or 8am to 5pm. wow, jus like office hour.
shiok.
n useless.


anyway.
realised e power of drama!
ding ding.
jus look at princess hour. jus look at fahrenheit.

so, new ambition!
media producer or production line. set.

set? with ur seeking-temporary-peace attitude?! come on la..

seems like a split personality conversation huh.
don b silly.

jus like e previous post.
today is fri. n finally, its sat.
finally.

lazed

gd morning :)

went back to chung cheng ytd. doing research on cch building. bt didnt find anything in e end.
took note of little things during e walk into e sch. erm. kinda missed tt kind of self-regarding-stressed life.
seems like it can only b understood when it becomes past. so mayb ill b considering now as self-regarding-stressed life, when im working. bt, im really damn pissed with my life now. cos as i said, with so many commitments, want to do everything n anything.
n tis is e result.

i received a dismissal letter. n im damn pissed by it now.
i was officially dismissed. by psp. nv state reasons. wat e. though i should b happy tt i hav one less commitment now. bt it is sth i cared n gained.
damn.

tt was one thing. im really pissed.

was watching tokyo juliet. initially was a bit turned off by its socially characterised plot. bt was amazed by e stack n dramatic irony tt was portrayed. so continued to watch, n i find it was not tt bad.
n it kind of inspired me a bit. by their dressings. seen a lot of apparel design stuff. kind of given me e feel of wanting to wear nicer, instead of jus t shirts.
bt anyway, thoughts r oso always easier than deed. so we shall c. haha.

a bit lazed after e submission of media writing.
2 more assignments, n ure done with tis semester! n then u can really plan n do sth in tis 2 mths! 2 whole mth!
i noe. bt i jus don feel e mood to do e assignments. cos culture assignment again, n creative writing.

time for planner. then will start.

though e gloom is still circling ard me. bt today is fri. n finally, its sat!
finally.
hav a nice day :)

silent.

am i really being too tired then i say things tt i shouldnt hav, or r they jus wat ive being wanting to say. seems like e execution of langauge is far more powerful than anything. realising it after a long time, is it unforgivable. now then realised how unthoughtful n childish i ve been.

ya. seemed forever pissed off.
n don seem to care for anything.

silence is golden? ya seems like.
then ive got nth to say from today onwards.

i need money!

omg. my dec pay has been used up. after spending 90 plus at orchard tt day.
desperately in need of money now. bt i guess e rh job is gone. hai.
ill need 30 over for malaysia visa. 100 for kl trip in march, 120 for maxin exchange, 100 over for keyboard lessons each mth. as well as for dental n com accessories (usb wire). n if e beijing trip shall b confirmed, then ill need at least 750 in aug. all excluding shopping budgets.
so ill need to keep at least 1200 over now, excluding all e shopping n uncalculable budgets. n e sch fees r to b in again in april, which is 1000 plus. actually i wont b so poor if i hav taken up a proper job after os. i ve got half a yr which i could hav earned 6000 plus. or mayb all these wouldnt b a prob if ive signed up e teaching bursary, which entitles me sch fees n 1000 plus a mth.
however, in order to pursue dreams in e future, it is to b more tough now. hai.

anybody noes how much time do u hav to spend for 2 tuition job? yes ill need to take up 2 kids, so tt i can really fulfil my dreams. cos with lesser n lesser commitments in ark i don think ill survive.
its really contradicting sometimes, when i wan to hav so many commitments, yet wan to work for more money, not wanting to sign up for e bursary, for some unknown future dream, need to maintain gd results at e same time wan to hav more sleeps. wan to learn keyboard n jap, for they r things tt ive longed to learn. bt they all need money n time. with sph, chs, korean nsig, psp (though neglecting for long..),ark etc, where do i get so much time. now hms is adding in.
cos ive started late, so i cant afford to lose anymore time n opportunities.

met joy on e bus ytd while on my way to sch. ya long time no c. she updated me a lot on sec sch frens. quite a lot of ppl drop out or withdraw from jc. then i thought, mayb it is bless tt ive chosen poly, if not ill b kicked out of jc for not being able to pass promo. then it ll b another one yr wasted. n i wont hav done so many interesting things last yr.

moved slightly on fri of whether should i apply for mass comm thru jpsae like wat ive thought last yr. cos i went 9 floor n saw e studios n e theatres used only by fms students. these r e professionalism tt ive longed for. n chs ppl wont b able use tis kind of facilities. bt i noe myself tt i wont survive in tt kind of environment. i belong to e chinese side. ya so b it. so i gav up e idea n moved back to my hms.

during e sem break i shall improve on my chinese, english, japanese, german n keyboard, b4 its too late.

really cant believe my 300 over pay jus gone like tt. argh.

it ll b 2 wks after each time. bt fortunately, now i noe where he is.