finally, im 19
happy birthday to me!
omg, e last 1- birthday in my life. orh its so scary, theres no more 1- birthday anymore. i suddenly felt to b drowned in tis immense fear n anxiety. abt wat? im not really sure.
at tis kind of age, i oso start to worry, wat if i don get to get married, no one wants to me, how..
anyway, last half an hr of my 18 yrs old, i was sitting in muchuan eating chips, watching hm pack stuff.
last 15 min of 18 yrs old, i was on bus no. 2, playing e song i surrender by celing dion repeatedly on my mp3 player. at 2347, tears jus rolled down, a lot of memories jus flashed across my mind. i stopped crying at 2350, concentrated looking at my hp screen, thought abt a lot of things in e mean time. i watched e number increase 1 by 1 until it reached 1200. i wispered happy birthday to me, n cried again, jus feeling stirred at e 1st min on my birthday. after a few secs, i started to wish 3 wishes for tis yr, bt, was disrupted by hm call after e 1st one.. hahaha. at e 8th min of my birthday, i tried to feel if e air was diff at 19, so i took a deep breath, bt it felt e same, of cos, cos i was still on bus no.2.. haha.. not funny.
shit, forgot to watch a m18 movie ytd..
heres e list for tis yr,
last one to shake my hand, hm, (jiehao n rongting being one of them)
last person i saw, hm.
last person i hugged, cindy, e regular customer of mood inn.
last dang i heard, mood inn
last song i heard, i surrender by celine dion. (shes really a great singer)
last bus i took, no.2
1st person to wish me, sianchoo, in july.
1st call i received, by hm, to wish me happy bday at 1200.
1st one to sing me a bday song, mood inn. (orh so touching, thanks to jiehao =) )
heartfelt gratitude to hm, for e muffins n cookies baked by her =)
though i was quite sad, i didnt c him today T_T
really touched by tis song, i surrender by celine dion.
When I watch you look at me, I think I could find the will, To stand for every dream. ’cause I’d surrender everything, To feel the chance to live again, I reach to you, I know you can feel it too. I’ll swallow my pride and I’ll be alive, Did you hear my call, I surrender all. (... ..)
today v touched, n i wan to mention tis.
jiehao suddenly said, wan to sing a special song. then he started to crap a lot, bt they r touching craps ;) jiehao said, when ur were sitting down there enjoying e music, there will b somebody behind e bar counter making ur drinks n serve ur, stand until their legs were thick le (i wonder wat does he mean by saying we hav thick legs..), if ur notice, every wk theres yc n hm "choose" to work on tues, dunno if they r jus nice free on tues or wat (everytime e same line..), which one is it then, then started to sing a happy birthday song for me, (omg it was so touching~), bt i dunno whether should i turn back n face them, so i continued washing e plates. then jiehao said, mai geh siao leh, turn back la. haha.. then he said y he noe today is my birthday, cos he accidentally peeped at our work schedule then noe tt today was their waitress de bday. asked me to make a wish, n said it will come true cos so many ppl wished me happy birthday. after tt sang e last part of e song. then hm lighted a candle on e muffin she baked herself. everything was so unforgettable. one regular customer asked me to light a candle for him, then asked me to make a wish n blow it. haha.. e regular customers sitting at e window sides oso v cute. n i really appreciate everyone n everything. really thanks.
i regretted for i didnt really listen carefully to wat jiehao said, as i was considering tt should i hide myself behind e bar counter.. bt anyway, really touched my heart. jiehao is really thoughtful, n i really appreciate it.
went to review my blog abt last yr..
i could still rmb my 18 bday, when i was still in cch. studied with joy e previous nite till 11 sth, then she wished me e 1st happy bday. nx day, e 1st period was pe, with 4 jt, fred wished me happy bday, then jon said tt too :') (orh, so sweet..), e girls sang e song for me after pe, then mr gorden goh oso wished me happy bday. hm gav me a choco cake during recess. then tt afternoon i interviewed jon n e bball players.
then i read thru a lot of things tt happened b4 e prelims. thought abt it for quite long. guilty abt it even till now.
seriously, i feel e emotional change tts taking place as i grow older, n tt e emotional sense has become sharper too. i really hav e deeper realization of e exchange of emotions btw ppl, be it ppl tt i noe or i dunno. i oso hav a greater appreciation of how frens come in n leave in ones life. some of them r really walking away from me. for e far ones, they r walking further, even e ones hu r standing close, has started to pace away.
i noe tt one shouldnt expect too much when u did not giv or devote too much. bt i do feel sad. n i become afraid of meeting up with frens n new ppl, as i forget n worry how can i get along with them. i hate e feeling when several emotions running across everywhere in ur mind while u acting naturally on e surface n joking normally with someone, anyone.
sometimes i ask, if u did not contribute, wat on earth do u hav to pose e expectation on others.
do i only bring sadness n complaints to ppl i noe..?
omg, e last 1- birthday in my life. orh its so scary, theres no more 1- birthday anymore. i suddenly felt to b drowned in tis immense fear n anxiety. abt wat? im not really sure.
at tis kind of age, i oso start to worry, wat if i don get to get married, no one wants to me, how..
anyway, last half an hr of my 18 yrs old, i was sitting in muchuan eating chips, watching hm pack stuff.
last 15 min of 18 yrs old, i was on bus no. 2, playing e song i surrender by celing dion repeatedly on my mp3 player. at 2347, tears jus rolled down, a lot of memories jus flashed across my mind. i stopped crying at 2350, concentrated looking at my hp screen, thought abt a lot of things in e mean time. i watched e number increase 1 by 1 until it reached 1200. i wispered happy birthday to me, n cried again, jus feeling stirred at e 1st min on my birthday. after a few secs, i started to wish 3 wishes for tis yr, bt, was disrupted by hm call after e 1st one.. hahaha. at e 8th min of my birthday, i tried to feel if e air was diff at 19, so i took a deep breath, bt it felt e same, of cos, cos i was still on bus no.2.. haha.. not funny.
shit, forgot to watch a m18 movie ytd..
heres e list for tis yr,
last one to shake my hand, hm, (jiehao n rongting being one of them)
last person i saw, hm.
last person i hugged, cindy, e regular customer of mood inn.
last dang i heard, mood inn
last song i heard, i surrender by celine dion. (shes really a great singer)
last bus i took, no.2
1st person to wish me, sianchoo, in july.
1st call i received, by hm, to wish me happy bday at 1200.
1st one to sing me a bday song, mood inn. (orh so touching, thanks to jiehao =) )
heartfelt gratitude to hm, for e muffins n cookies baked by her =)
though i was quite sad, i didnt c him today T_T
really touched by tis song, i surrender by celine dion.
When I watch you look at me, I think I could find the will, To stand for every dream. ’cause I’d surrender everything, To feel the chance to live again, I reach to you, I know you can feel it too. I’ll swallow my pride and I’ll be alive, Did you hear my call, I surrender all. (... ..)
today v touched, n i wan to mention tis.
jiehao suddenly said, wan to sing a special song. then he started to crap a lot, bt they r touching craps ;) jiehao said, when ur were sitting down there enjoying e music, there will b somebody behind e bar counter making ur drinks n serve ur, stand until their legs were thick le (i wonder wat does he mean by saying we hav thick legs..), if ur notice, every wk theres yc n hm "choose" to work on tues, dunno if they r jus nice free on tues or wat (everytime e same line..), which one is it then, then started to sing a happy birthday song for me, (omg it was so touching~), bt i dunno whether should i turn back n face them, so i continued washing e plates. then jiehao said, mai geh siao leh, turn back la. haha.. then he said y he noe today is my birthday, cos he accidentally peeped at our work schedule then noe tt today was their waitress de bday. asked me to make a wish, n said it will come true cos so many ppl wished me happy birthday. after tt sang e last part of e song. then hm lighted a candle on e muffin she baked herself. everything was so unforgettable. one regular customer asked me to light a candle for him, then asked me to make a wish n blow it. haha.. e regular customers sitting at e window sides oso v cute. n i really appreciate everyone n everything. really thanks.
i regretted for i didnt really listen carefully to wat jiehao said, as i was considering tt should i hide myself behind e bar counter.. bt anyway, really touched my heart. jiehao is really thoughtful, n i really appreciate it.
went to review my blog abt last yr..
i could still rmb my 18 bday, when i was still in cch. studied with joy e previous nite till 11 sth, then she wished me e 1st happy bday. nx day, e 1st period was pe, with 4 jt, fred wished me happy bday, then jon said tt too :') (orh, so sweet..), e girls sang e song for me after pe, then mr gorden goh oso wished me happy bday. hm gav me a choco cake during recess. then tt afternoon i interviewed jon n e bball players.
then i read thru a lot of things tt happened b4 e prelims. thought abt it for quite long. guilty abt it even till now.
seriously, i feel e emotional change tts taking place as i grow older, n tt e emotional sense has become sharper too. i really hav e deeper realization of e exchange of emotions btw ppl, be it ppl tt i noe or i dunno. i oso hav a greater appreciation of how frens come in n leave in ones life. some of them r really walking away from me. for e far ones, they r walking further, even e ones hu r standing close, has started to pace away.
i noe tt one shouldnt expect too much when u did not giv or devote too much. bt i do feel sad. n i become afraid of meeting up with frens n new ppl, as i forget n worry how can i get along with them. i hate e feeling when several emotions running across everywhere in ur mind while u acting naturally on e surface n joking normally with someone, anyone.
sometimes i ask, if u did not contribute, wat on earth do u hav to pose e expectation on others.
do i only bring sadness n complaints to ppl i noe..?
posted by jessie daisuke at 6:17 am
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