meaning?

how come i don find e necessity anymore.. nor do i anticipate.. reasons? reasons reasons reasons..
wat do u do to change when u r bored of ur life n bored of urself?
i jus don feel e strength in everything.. wat r e things tt push me along previously? or hav i been doing sth for e sake of doing.. tt things r done bcos theres a must..
i thought i found sth tt i wanted to do, tt excites me.. bt after thinking deeper, where is it?
i think i need to throw away tis kind of attitude b4 i can enjoy poly life..