y not me.. again..

sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..

common test finally finished ytd.. haha.. today we were e only class not having test today.. cos we re pure lit class.. haha..
ya.. n finally made an improvement on c lit.. he got e same mark as me.. hehe..
btw.. mon there was i on bus 31.. then at parkway a guy come up.. n haha.. he sat beside me.. omg he was really shuai loh.. mayb not to that v much extent la.. but his hairstyle rox lo.. haha.. highlighted silvery white.. super nice.. n he was wearing white.. v tall oso.. haha.. too bad he alighted at bedok.. he v much of dx style manx.. omg.. v shuai leh.. haha.. stupid me.. he must hav a gf oready.. so me jus looking ard la k..
n last fri was e national chinese debate held in our sch.. i was e mc.. felt v sehr bt v hot cos need to wear tie.. n i was nervous that i read one of e ahs girls name wrongly.. im so sorry.. bt i think e 3rd one from coral is quite gd.. looks not bad.. is a girl.. likes e way she presents.. haha..
today was thinking.. n realised that y am i always fail in everything.. life isnt fair.. i always don get wat i wan.. ever since i came into cchms.. where was wrong.. i cant figure it out.. i got my height, got a few frens, got e sch i wanted.. bt i don like e way of me presenting myself.. sounds weired.. i don get into any auditions nor interviews.. be it e talentimes, sports day, debate, student corespondent, chinese comps, even co comm, ccs comm, always got rejected.. am i really that incapable that i don excel in anything? nothing im gd at.. even theres only two persons in cello i oso don get e post higher jus cos i don learn that long, mayb that sounds unfair to her.. got into e story telling jus cos there no one to take part n i was in sch.. sounds so stupid.. i was only a subst to everything, i got it jus cos no one wanted or wanted to b.. i cant believe that i even lose to such sucky ppl hu can get into e co comm when i was out.. lose to that bitch in ccs.. lost all e comp in last yr july n aug.. lost ytd interview.. lost everything.. except my mum n dad..
everything is my fault.. cos of me ring was stolen, cos im a girl bro was born, cos of me we came here, cos of me move hse, cos of me u need undergo operation, everythings is cos of me n is my fault.. ya blames everything on me..
wat for im born..? to b e loser so that someone wins..? do u think u noe me now as responsible is going to help me? i don giv a damn.. u think ure so great? don b stupid i tell u.. i jus wanted to... pls..
now e only thing i don wan lose is gold in syf n tjc..
can i.. borrow a shoulder..? pls.. jus for a while..