i dunno how to explain.. 17 days..
sorry to ... ..
sorry to yy..
happy birthday to yt..
e 1st time i find finding someone to talk is so difficult.. theres no one can talk to me, listen to me.. another failure in cchms.. y things always turns out like tis? i dunno how to describe my feeling when i saw tt la, i got into e wrong class or wat.. i dunno.. got a little bit annoyed recently, abt... .. so i guess tts going to b tt la, im not going to use it, i don wan to waste money, treat it as a sch event not a class event..
u only noe how to talk n comment, y dont u try it urself, bcos said is easier than done, ill prefer tt u jus shut up.. get it?
u may think tt we werent frens at all, jus base on today.. i dunno, jus a bit disappointed la, it was used to b like tt.. can i blame it on e olevel, bcos its so pressurising? or should i jus blame myself, for being so seemingly not enthu? to b so apparently calm n expressionless all e time?
sorry to yy..
happy birthday to yt..
e 1st time i find finding someone to talk is so difficult.. theres no one can talk to me, listen to me.. another failure in cchms.. y things always turns out like tis? i dunno how to describe my feeling when i saw tt la, i got into e wrong class or wat.. i dunno.. got a little bit annoyed recently, abt... .. so i guess tts going to b tt la, im not going to use it, i don wan to waste money, treat it as a sch event not a class event..
u only noe how to talk n comment, y dont u try it urself, bcos said is easier than done, ill prefer tt u jus shut up.. get it?
u may think tt we werent frens at all, jus base on today.. i dunno, jus a bit disappointed la, it was used to b like tt.. can i blame it on e olevel, bcos its so pressurising? or should i jus blame myself, for being so seemingly not enthu? to b so apparently calm n expressionless all e time?
posted by jessie daisuke at 5:25 pm
2 Comments:
if u feel tat u're offended by the comment.. i got nothing to say really.. cuz it's juz merely a comment..something tat was deep in my heart and i wanna express it out.. not to irritate u or wad.. and i guess ur post is address to me? anyway, glad tat u'd learnt alot from wilbur. so mayb we shuld change seats from the very start to benefit us. things turn out the way i nv expect.. but wad can i do? mayb it's realli thanks to o's.. mayb it's juz tat.. i dunno. juz feel tat we're like strangers. dunno. mayb communicate is really the brigde to strengthen frenships. it's not tat i dun wanna be enthu for the national day thing. i juz find it pointless and useless. see how has the class become now? ya. it may be the last time le.. but.. so? if the class dun wanna cooperate, no matter how hard we wanna try to win the award, all efforts will juz be wash down the drain.. my days in cchs are numbered, i juz wanna make the fullest out of it.. getting to noe every possible fren i can.. cuz i'd devoted half yr of my life last year wid the gang of pple and missed out some of which can realli actually be true frens. u can join us during recess in class.. i'd asked u b4.. but it's either u lazy to answer me or u simply didn't hear la.. hahaa.. juz like i respect u tat everytime recess u accompany xiangling.. but have u ever thought wad's the feeling being alone in class stranded in a corner pathetically listening to mp3 during recess? but of cuz it's our choices la. i can't forced u not to go recess rite.. anyway, the stomach is urs wad. hahaha. i'm already used to it anyway. juz tat recently sit in front.. for recess they gather together and ask me join dem.. so might as well dun spend a lonely recess rite? ha. libra's can stand lonliness. tat's for sure. i juz wanna haf happy memories for the few more months left. u're also welcomed to join us anytime u wan..
i do bother to visit ur blog, cuz i treasured the frenship..
firstly, regarding e national day thing, i wan to tell u tt i really noe ur stand ok, i didnt ask u to join e discussion bcos i noe e reason, u had told me b4, n i really understand.. i noe its ptless n useless, i jus didnt expect things to b so absolute, jus didnt expect tt i was going to fail so hard in trying to do sth, last thing in cch.. n in tis post, jus to make sure u don misunderstand me, e one whom i asked to shut up is not u n other those girls in front, i wasnt refering to u all, i was refering to some idiots in our class..
anyway, i admit tt ive seen ur post few days ago, n i only replied now not bcos i don bother or i didnt c e post or ignored it.. in fact ive been thinking thruout these 2 days, in class, where i c ur back, at home, when i c u online, anytime, was reflecting on things we did n thoughts we shared.. sometimes, i feel tt im a scatterbrain, a lot of things goes on in my brain at e same time, i didnt don wan to ans u or didnt hear, is tt i was thinking or simply distracted, i really don mean to most of e time, bt i really need to apologise, im sorry, sometimes i jus wasnt careful enough, n i noe i hav neglacted u quite a lot tis term, or even starting from term 3, i really wanted to apologise, i noe its not an excuse bt i hav been facing a lot of stresses n unhappiness lately, though some may b minor to others bt they really meant a lot to me.. jus like i doubted e necessity of treating everyone friendly, cos there r ppl hu r so fake tt they can smile to u n stab on ur back,n oso, a lot other things, things abt cca, abt going to graduate, abt schoolwork, abt prelims, abt olevels, abt txy.. a lot things going on n i felt tt im seriously distracted, i wanted to ignore everything bt i cant.. i really need time n heart to think thru a lot of things, n i really regretted of sacrificing u.. i understand how u felt, understood ur stand, everything, bt sometimes i really dunno how to express myself, i wasnt feeling not interested, in fact im really interested, bt i guess im used to being expressionless, i hav been like tis all e time, at home, when i was with yawen, donjie, bt i was listening, jus not gd at expressing myself.. i noe how u feel during recess time, n i guess e reasoning was not impt now as u hav ppl accompanying u now.. i jus want to say sorry, for those loneliness u hav faced, if i hav hurt u in anyway regarding tis, im truly sorry.. i noe tis wont help bt i really regretted, for failing to put in more effort for whom i wanted to care for.. i noe i don qualify to say tis, bt i really plead for ur forgiveness.. im sorry for i noe tt i hav created a lot of loneliness since u were with me, bt im jus not gd as socialising, for wat i ve been thought at home, i jus hav to do my part as a student n frens will come into ur life as we grow up, i noe now it was wrong, one needs to put in effort for a fren, n i regretted for putting so little effort in sustaining our friendship..
i realised tt we felt like strangers, bt i dunno how to.. im starting to not noeing how to cope with life, with prelim in less than one mth when i still scored single digits for tests.. i don hav e energy n mind to think of how to live my life, jus trying v hard to survive my prelim 1st.. hai, i dunno wat im talking abt bt wat i wanted to say is, i wanted to do everything rite, bt i failed in everything, even in maintaining friendship.. i wanted to close up e gap btw us, bt i dunno e way, n dunno how to figure out a way to, im saying tis not meaning tt i don wan to get close to u bt im trying hard, i dunno if i could survive thru tis, dunno if i would succeed, dunno if u would still accept me.. i dunno how to say la..
i dunno if u understood, i dunno wat im talking abt oready, i jus wanted to tell u, i felt empty without u, n then realised how large e percentage u took in my heart, which i don deserve to hav.. i regretted for failing to care for u lately, i sincerely hoped tt i would hav a chance to compensate u..
i dunno if u got wat i meant, bt i jus dunno how to tell u how i felt, dunno how to tell u abt wat i wanted to clarify.. aaarrgghh.. im really v messy now..
sorry for taking u such a long time to read, n sorry for taking such a long time to reply u ..
if u don get wat im trying to say, pls giv me a bit of time to think n ill try to write it out or in any other way tt i can express to u..
once again, im sorry..
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